Stop Gaslighting. How to Face Problems Head On.

Unfortunately, far too many organizational leaders are unwilling to face their problems head on. While the root cause of an issue may be obvious, management teams often avoid them at all costs in order to either gain favor, hide ineptitude, or simply gain control of a situation. However, constantly avoiding issues and pretending as if they don’t exist will never result in sustainable growth or a strong company culture. 

Before we get started, it’s important to define what “gaslighting” is. The term originates from a 1938 play called Gas Light by Patrick Hamilton. In so many words, a deranged husband obsessed with stealing his wife’s family’s fortune, slowly convinces her that she is going crazy by making the gas-powered lights in the house flicker on and off. When she would ask why this was happening, he would tell her that he didn’t see anything and that she must be losing her mind. In her confused state, he was able to start his plot.

It’s hard to believe that the plot of a play from more than 75 years ago has created a commonly used phrase in our culture. From an organizational perspective, we now use the term “gaslighting” whenever someone pretends as if a problem doesn’t exist and an issue-at-hand isn’t what you’ve seen or heard, but rather your own shortcomings. Gaslighting is a very powerful psychological tool that often forces people to believe many things: they don’t have the intellectual capacity, they don’t understand the situation, they don’t have the credentials, they don’t know how to manage their emotions, they don’t really understanding the “backstory,” and the list goes on.

When thinking about these questions consecutively, what commonality do you see? The outcome or conversations that result from these types of mental gymnastics are all incredibly negative. By avoiding an issue and placing blame in the wrong place, a single action has made someone feel “dumb,” inexperienced (even though they may have plenty of credentials), psychologically insecure, and genuinely unsafe; as if their thoughts and opinions don’t matter. Consequently, everything is downhill from there. But how do you stop gaslighting and face problems head on?

View Problems as Opportunities

When we hear the word “problem” it automatically shifts our perspective on a topic. If someone says “there is a problem,” we often step back and immediately become defensive. “Well, it couldn’t be anything I did.” We tell ourselves. “There’s nothing wrong with our strategy, it just didn’t work out.” But navigating corporate life this way doesn’t equate to much in the long-run.

There has to be a level of humility and a willingness to admit that something doesn’t work or doesn’t fit into the mission and vision of your company. Every “problem” should be seen as an opportunity to say  “where did we go wrong?” Instead of gaslighting and avoiding a problem, shifting blame, or acting like it doesn’t exist, face it head-on with a willingness to learn, grow and adjust.

Emphasize Transparency

In a hyper-connected world, there isn’t any shortage of information available. If people want to find something out, they will find a way. As a result, there are parts of professional lives that are open for the world to see. As a management team, there is likely someone out there who has familiarity with your strategy and the types of employees you have. Any established company will also have a record of clients and some degree of developed relationships with stakeholders and consumers.

That being said, if a problem arises, it’s going to be very hard for any leadership team or company to hide from the ramifications of their actions. The political nature of modern business suggests that perhaps gaslighting and shifting focus elsewhere might be the best strategy. However, nothing couldn’t be further from the truth. The fast-paced, competitive, and increasingly ethics-focused nature of the modern corporate world demands that companies are transparent in everything they do. If a problem occurs, it is in their best interests to own up to it and take responsibility. Shifting the blame elsewhere or pretending there isn’t an issue will eventually cause trouble. Someone will find out. Someone will report it.

Practice Clear and Concise Communication

There isn’t any area of organizational life that practicing clear and concise communication doesn’t provide a benefit. But the value of being straightforward with information is best seen when applied to problem-solving.

Think back to when you were in school. What was it like to get a bad grade on your report card and dread bringing it home for your parents to see? Stressful, right? Unfortunately, some of us resulted in hiding the report card or even worse, forging the grades to avoid the inevitable punishment that lay ahead. For those of you who actually tried to dance around the issue of poor grades, how did it turn out? More than likely, you got into more trouble than you would have if you had just been honest to begin with. However, when we are young, we are immature and don’t understand the value of taking responsibility, being transparent, and clearly communicating our failures.

Gaslighting only leads to confusion and mixed messages. If all conversations are focused on the wrong things, or they are focused on an obscured version of the truth, they won’t provide any benefit.

The phrase “gaslighting” probably strikes an emotion. It’s a powerful phrase and something embedded within our culture. Far too often, we are unwilling to take blame or face problems head on. In the process of doing so, we create a list of problems within our companies that become too long to list. Yet, there are solutions to avoid gaslighting and tackle the challenges of the “new normal” head on. Try seeing problems as opportunities, emphasizing transparency, and ultimately incorporating clear and concise communication into every aspect of your business.

If you would like to learn more about how we can help your business face the challenges of the “new normal” with confidence, visit our website today:

www.blackgreygold.com