Navigating the Complexities of Communication in the Workplace

The pop-culture phenomenon and television series Friends captivated audiences for more than a decade. The idea of living together with your best-friends in the West Village of New York City and leading a life filled with random adventures and interesting people is simply fascinating. However, the reason Friends was so popular isn’t all that it seems. According to best-selling author Malcolm Gladwell, the reason why the series was so popular has more to do with the science behind communication than cultural appeal. While Gladwell’s ideas are a bit striking at first, they do have important implications for modern organizations looking to improve the way they communicate.

FACS, or a Facial Action Coding System, is a very complex psychological approach to understanding human emotions. In short, there are thousands of muscle movements that occur on the face that correlate to a set of emotions. The concept of the PAN-AM smile is well-known among psychologists and essentially serves as the standard “look” for enjoyment or happiness. In reflecting upon this research, Gladwell came to a bold conclusion.

The reason why Friends is so appealing is that the actors on the show are perfectly “matched.” In every situation they encounter, their facial expressions perfectly “match” what they are thinking or feeling. When a character is confused, they actually look confused. When a character is excited, they look excited. However, there is a problem with this. This isn’t how real life works. In reality, our facial expressions and emotions almost never actually reveal what we are truly thinking or feeling. In fact, in a study comparing seasoned FBI veterans and civilians, their ability to determine whether or not someone was lying was nearly identical. As human beings, we are simply bad at determining someone’s true intentions or motivation.

In the professional workplace, we encounter people who are “mismatched” on a daily basis. When we walk into a sales meeting, we almost never know exactly what a client is thinking or feeling. When we first begin working on a project, we almost never know exactly how much each team member will contribute and how successfully it will ultimately be. The truth of the matter is, we constantly navigate a complex world filled with situations and patterns of communication that are simply hard to understand and interpret. However, there are solutions to become more perfectly “matched” and improve the quality of communication within your organization.

Practice Active Listening

Many times, we believe that we understand the message someone is trying to send, but in reality, we really don’t. Far too often, we come to the table with a set of preconceived notions about someone or a particular situation which forces us to “listen,” but not “hear.” We jump to conclusions and make assumptions about people’s intentions. In order to combat this, an effort must be made to actively listen.

When someone is speaking, take the time to truly digest what they are saying. Before injecting any thoughts of your own, make sure that you repeat back what they said and assure them that you understand their perspective. By actively listening you show genuine concern for their thoughts and ultimately lay the foundation for a strong relationship. Effective communication is never a one-way street. As the Dalai-Lama once said “When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new.”

Become “Matched”

While it isn’t possible to be “matched” all of the time, as we experience daily stress and situations which may cause us to act emotionally, it isn’t impossible to make an effort to do so. There is no substitute for the value of transparency. Professionals should engage in a daily practice of having their actions match their words. When a promise is made, it should be kept. If the benefits of an initiative are apparent, they should be realized. All patterns of communication and clarification of objectives should be designed with transparency in mind. Our actions should match our words. When an organization is filled with people who make a concerted effort to be transparent, it fosters an environment of trust that cannot be replaced easily.

There is a paradox when it comes to communication. We often believe that our communication skills are adequate and we truly understand what people are thinking or feeling. However, the truth of the matter is, as professionals we fall short on our ability to communicate effectively far too much. But, the ability to improve our ability to communicate and become more perfectly “matched” with those around us is within reach.

If you are interested in learning more about how I can help you uncover the secrets of communication in the workplace and become perfectly “matched” visit my website today!